Divorce In NJ
Call Ken Rempell at (973) 921-0009 to schedule an appointment.
Divorce Should Be a Negotiation
Many divorcing couples believe they must “have their day in court,” where decisions are based on the law and legally relevant facts. Both spouses hire attorneys to get as much as possible from the marriage. They plan for a court battle from the beginning. However, the court should be your last resort. It is exhausting and expensive, and a third party, in this case, a judge, makes decisions for you and your family. Does this make sense to you?
Alternatively, there are negotiation processes you can choose that are not constrained by the legal adversarial system, that is, within the constraints of statutory and case law precedent and legal formulas and against the backdrop of court intervention and decision-making. These dispute-resolution processes fall under the heading of what I call “amicable negotiation”.
These consensual processes are more flexible, can consider a broader range of factors, and you make the decisions for the future of you and your family. All three processes of amicable negotiation, mediation, collaborative law, and cooperative negotiation focus on your interests and core concerns, protect your children, and prioritize open communication, cooperation, and peaceful resolution. Properly executed, these processes minimize conflict, reduce stress, cost less than litigation or adversarial negotiation, and preserve relationships, particularly when children are involved. As an attorney, I work closely with you to negotiate an agreement that satisfies your interests and eliminates your core concerns. Creative negotiation involves thinking outside the box—seeing the broader possibilities available beyond conventional practice.
Prioritize Peace and Cooperation
It is also important to prioritize peace and cooperation. Divorce can be a challenging and emotional time. Still, achieving a positive outcome with the right approach is possible. Whether through collaborative law, mediation, or cooperative negotiation, the key is to work together to find a solution that works for everyone involved.
One of the most significant benefits of collaborative law, cooperative negotiation, and mediation is that you have more control over the outcome. Instead of leaving the decision-making in the hands of a judge, you are empowered to negotiate a solution that works for everyone. This can be especially important regarding alimony, child support, custody, and visitation.
Alimony, Child Support, Child Custody, and Child Visitation
When it comes to alimony, child support, child custody, and child visitation, it is essential to remember that the goal should be to achieve a fair and workable solution for everyone involved. This may mean making compromises and finding creative solutions that consider your family’s unique needs and circumstances. This does not mean you will acquiesce to your spouse’s demands, but rather we will come together and work on a plan that sets up both parties and the children for a positive future.
For example, when it comes to alimony, the statute lists factors to consider, such as the length of the marriage, earning potential of each spouse, and the standard of living established during the marriage. While the formula for calculating alimony can be complex, the goal should be that both parties have the resources to move forward and to ensure that each can maintain a reasonable standard of living after the divorce.
Similarly, when it comes to child support, the goal should be to ensure that the needs of the children are met while still considering the financial situation of each parent. Child custody and visitation can also be complex when the court gets involved. However, we believe that with the assistance of an experienced and knowledgeable neutral mental health professional (“coach”), a plan can be developed in the child(ren)’s best interest.
Finally, under the heading of “Equitable Distribution,” marital assets are divided, and debts are allocated, but not necessarily equally. The statute lists fifteen factors plus the catchall – any other factors the court deems relevant – for a court to consider. By amicably negotiating, you can identify assets for which you may have a preference.